Rewrite a service page: a complete before-and-after example

A before-and-after example is useful only if you can see where the new information comes from. Below, we rewrite a fictional web designer's service page. This is an editorial example, rather than a customer case study or measured result. All permitted facts appear in the source first. You can therefore check whether the new text stays within those boundaries.

The source and the task

This is the complete example source:

We offer professional tailored solutions. We design and build websites for self-employed people. During an introductory meeting, we discuss what your business needs. Contact us to request an introductory meeting.

The task is to explain one service more clearly to self-employed people. The next step remains requesting an introductory meeting. There are no details about prices, scheduling, technology, maintenance, experience or results. We therefore do not fill them in ourselves.

Preparing this for your own page? First use the worksheet for checking your source text.

The proposed copy

Main heading

Websites for self-employed people.

Introduction

We design and build your website. During an introductory meeting, we discuss what your business needs.

Page copy

Are you self-employed and looking to have a website designed and built? During an introductory meeting, we discuss your question. You can explain what your business needs before deciding how to proceed.

Call to action

Request an introductory meeting

Beside the button, you could write: “Contact us to discuss your question.” The button must then lead to a working contact option. “Book your consultation” would not automatically fit: the source does not establish that the website has a bookable calendar.

What changes in substance?

The heading brings the service and audience to the front. The introduction states the same two facts and connects them to the introductory meeting. The vague “professional tailored solutions” disappears because the source does not explain which solutions or adaptations it means.

The page copy remains deliberately short. That does not recommend making every service page this brief. This source contains little information. Longer copy would quickly add repetition or unconfirmed detail. For more explanation, first ask what a customer can expect during the meeting and which services are included or excluded.

“Before deciding how to proceed” describes the visitor's choice; it must not imply an unstated no-obligation quotation or free advice. If the introductory meeting carries costs or commitments, that practical information must be confirmed and visibly added. The example source does not answer that yet.

Title and meta description

A suitable page title is:

Websites for self-employed people | Voorbeeld

A possible meta description is:

We design and build websites for self-employed people. Read how to request an introductory meeting to discuss your business's needs.

These texts summarise the same page. They add no region, speed or result. A search engine may show a different title or snippet. The guide to page titles and meta descriptions explores that distinction further.

Four checks beside the draft

• Origin: can you locate every concrete statement in the source or confirmed additional information?
• Next step: does the button describe what visitors can actually do?
• Missing information: have open questions stayed visible instead of being filled with assumptions?
• Tone: does this sound like your business, without terms customers do not understand?

For your own rewrite, put the source and proposal side by side and assess every concrete statement. The example above proves no increase in enquiries or search rankings. It shows how to assess clarity of substance. After publishing, also check the complete journey from text to contact.